he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
there is glitter all over my balls
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
