he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
