I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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