Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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