She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
