can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
