Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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