I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
