This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
