connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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