420 ftw
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
