haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
cat food counts as protein by the way
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
