It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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