direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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