Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
