They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
