She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
