He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
