so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
