Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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