I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
