Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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