Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
