i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
