Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I see more hoeing in ur future
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
