It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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