Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
