I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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