At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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