her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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