For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
you never un-have a 4some
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
