after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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