I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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