After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
