IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
