First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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