Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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