I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
