We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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