OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
