The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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