S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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