That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
