so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
