No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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