She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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