Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I need to stop coming to work sober
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
