Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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