I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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