I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
