I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
