if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
