How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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